it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
