i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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