I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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