you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
