i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
