What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
