also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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