is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
