Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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