Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
