Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
