I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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