My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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