I CAN MOONWALK!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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