I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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