whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
