You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
apparently the secret to your success is patron
only you would photoshop your dick
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
