she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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