Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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