Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
