I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
