Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
do nipples grow back?
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