just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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