Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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