you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
