My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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