I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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