In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
