I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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