But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
