THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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