This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
