Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
ttyl tear gas
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
