you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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