New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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