Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
