Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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