Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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