Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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