just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
