soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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