he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
