Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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