We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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