dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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