I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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