im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
