I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
