If you die in college, do you die in real life?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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