I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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