Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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