just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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