so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
