don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
