belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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