why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize