he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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