It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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