hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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